Now I've used this phrase before many times as a playful way of looking at the last couple of weeks of pregnancy, so imagine my frustration to feel that I have arrived at that place already at only 34 weeks! I wonder how many readers also find the emotional places that pregnancy can take us to quite bewildering at times?
I joked with my husband today asking him to stop being so effective - stop achieving so many projects in the garden -- its starting to get on my nerves as I sit, unmotivated and stilled (and downright grumpy lets be honest) by the growing going on inside me.
Because surely, I keep telling myself, growing the itsy human being is enough -- why be so impatient, why feel so useless and worthless when I look around me at the things I'm *not* achieving? It is only 2 months after all and then our new baby will be here and they'll be lots more to *not* achieve over the oncoming year!!
Calm then, be still. Know that all is well, allow the still days to be still. Outward energy bursts will come and go, and when they are not there, it makes sense to trust that there are inward leaps and increased fullness occurring within the womb.
Showing posts with label honouring woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honouring woman. Show all posts
Sunday, 24 February 2013
Friday, 25 January 2013
More tales from the pelvis - Care for those tired bones!
When I lie down, it seems to mould its way into the bed! If I stand still for some time, or lean against a wall, again there is a definite mirroring of the object I am in contact with. And then I can feel my back heaving under the weight and willing me to rest more as my mind captures jobs that seem so Important right now that I Can't Stop! Such is the journey of the busy pregnant woman's pelvis.
Here are some things that help me as the relaxin hormone in my body, preparing my system beautifully for a safe and roomy birth canal, takes a bit stronger hold than I would like and simply Hurts. (I've had SPD in my second pregnancy helped enormously by a skilled osteopath, and similarly the discomfort that can arise with subsequent babies benefits a lot by one or two visits to see her. I recommend osteopathy in pregnancy and for babies with wholehearted assertion!).
Here are some things that help me as the relaxin hormone in my body, preparing my system beautifully for a safe and roomy birth canal, takes a bit stronger hold than I would like and simply Hurts. (I've had SPD in my second pregnancy helped enormously by a skilled osteopath, and similarly the discomfort that can arise with subsequent babies benefits a lot by one or two visits to see her. I recommend osteopathy in pregnancy and for babies with wholehearted assertion!).
- Movement, belly dancing, gently swinging those hips to bring back some fluidity to the joints. All fours, or simply a gentle twist in the computer chair, movement helps engage with the changes to the body.
This is the vessel through which you will be birthing your child, familiarise, talk to it, find out what feels good :)
- Lying down on my side, even for ten minutes, at present my favourite place is in our barn space outside with the rabbit, on some warm, soft carpet, feeling my weight supported perfectly by Mother Earth. Pippin the rabbit helps me disengage from whatever it was that I thought was so Important. Lying down and resting is simply the best gift you can give your body at this time.
Ten minutes does make a difference :)
- Talking to the baby whilst doing either of the above to reconnect and remind me why my body can feel such discomfort right now. Just like labour, it is pain to a purpose. Imagining soft light or oil soothing those joints, listening to what my body is telling me about the positions that work and those that aggravate.
- Stretching and dangling (Yes already! - I have written a whole post on my passion for dangling in childbirth!) Reaching up high and letting those legs gently release the weight they carry in turn takes the pressure from the pelvis and lower back.
Delicious :)
Happy Dancing.
Head up head down, wherever the baby is, this is the body that will birth her, these are the bones that will juicily move aside as part of the dance as this precious child comes into the world.
Listen to those bones, those muscles, know them, care for them.
Celebrate the ingenuity that is your glorious female body!
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Pelvis ripening!
Now there are some phrases that only belong on the blogs of birth-lovers! And I feel this title is one of them!
Since I last wrote on this blog, I have found that we have again been blessed and are expecting our fourth child. I am now at 26 weeks and in the middle of a house move. We know the baby is a girl, my sense so far has been that she will be a head-down baby -- wishful thinking that I won't have to go through the dance of the NHS's concerns again?! Well anyway, we will see as the next few months unfold. At my midwife appointment yesterday she was presenting breech.. too early to be any clue as to how she'll present at birth, but it of course started my little mind turning over and over about what choices I might make later on.
Every word and every gesture spoken to a woman in pregnancy and during labour and birth is crucial. We are like sponges, hearing and sensing for signs of safety, of clues that all is well. I remind myself now that it is important for me to keep this in mind when with folk I don't know so well (including the NHS midwives, wonderful though they probably are, they are not all client-centred and mindful of positive birthing). Teflon cloak - let the comments bounce! Careful who I share information with and who I spend time with, to keep me at the centre of this safe-birthing experience.
This last week I have blossomed physically so that I'm not sure whether I'll fit between certain obstacles in shopping aisles anymore and it takes me a bit of manoeuvring to get out of a low chair (in fact I am avoiding low chairs it has to be said!) Sitting on a couple of cushions piled up on the sofa helps me keep the hips above the knees which instinctively feels like a good position to be in. I was a bit religious about it in my first pregnancy after learning about the best positioning (to get baby's spine down on the left hand side of the belly - otherwise known as Optimum Foetal Positioning) but in subsequent gestations its also felt good. So much more comfy.
And after a few rainy days housebound, only really transferring to the car if we did go out, I remembered that fresh air would be good. I've been experiencing varicose veins and leg cramps at night - both of which I've had lots of advice for but the bit that jumped out at me was Exercise! So I've been walking round the block twice a day (with or without the kids if I can drum up their support) and can definitely feel the loosening of the pelvic muscles and the benefit of giving them some circulation, some opportunity for movement.
Its like I've moved into birth preparation phase both in my mind and body -- I'm more focused now on negotiating that unknown expanse in my pelvis, getting to know the sensations of that whole sacral area, hip circling and generally being conscious of how I'm sitting, standing, lying, walking. What feels good, what feels uncomfy, which positions allow space? This babe and I have a journey to traverse together and it begins now as we get ready to enter our third trimester.
I'm imagining what will be around me when the time comes for me to contract and by holding that image, I know that I will draw the experience to myself. It is an active, positive process to eke out the thorns, ideas, theories, mindsets (my own and those in society around me) that do not resonate with that image over the coming weeks so that no stone is left unturned that could stand in the way of me safely easing this babe into the world.
I welcome this process as I know it has worked the last three times I've done it. Each preparation journey was different and it flowed simply by holding that image of safety and letting it be the anchor point while I worked through and acknowledged any triggers, any doubts, worries, niggles, criticisms, angers etc. So that when that first clear contraction comes and I know that labour has begun, I am ready. Simply ready. Head up, head down, its all the same, a miraculous yet efficient manoeuvring of two bodies - listen to the mind and the emotions now, give them time to prepare so that when it comes to the physical bit they can stand aside and watch the exquisite dance.
Since I last wrote on this blog, I have found that we have again been blessed and are expecting our fourth child. I am now at 26 weeks and in the middle of a house move. We know the baby is a girl, my sense so far has been that she will be a head-down baby -- wishful thinking that I won't have to go through the dance of the NHS's concerns again?! Well anyway, we will see as the next few months unfold. At my midwife appointment yesterday she was presenting breech.. too early to be any clue as to how she'll present at birth, but it of course started my little mind turning over and over about what choices I might make later on.
Every word and every gesture spoken to a woman in pregnancy and during labour and birth is crucial. We are like sponges, hearing and sensing for signs of safety, of clues that all is well. I remind myself now that it is important for me to keep this in mind when with folk I don't know so well (including the NHS midwives, wonderful though they probably are, they are not all client-centred and mindful of positive birthing). Teflon cloak - let the comments bounce! Careful who I share information with and who I spend time with, to keep me at the centre of this safe-birthing experience.
This last week I have blossomed physically so that I'm not sure whether I'll fit between certain obstacles in shopping aisles anymore and it takes me a bit of manoeuvring to get out of a low chair (in fact I am avoiding low chairs it has to be said!) Sitting on a couple of cushions piled up on the sofa helps me keep the hips above the knees which instinctively feels like a good position to be in. I was a bit religious about it in my first pregnancy after learning about the best positioning (to get baby's spine down on the left hand side of the belly - otherwise known as Optimum Foetal Positioning) but in subsequent gestations its also felt good. So much more comfy.
And after a few rainy days housebound, only really transferring to the car if we did go out, I remembered that fresh air would be good. I've been experiencing varicose veins and leg cramps at night - both of which I've had lots of advice for but the bit that jumped out at me was Exercise! So I've been walking round the block twice a day (with or without the kids if I can drum up their support) and can definitely feel the loosening of the pelvic muscles and the benefit of giving them some circulation, some opportunity for movement.
Its like I've moved into birth preparation phase both in my mind and body -- I'm more focused now on negotiating that unknown expanse in my pelvis, getting to know the sensations of that whole sacral area, hip circling and generally being conscious of how I'm sitting, standing, lying, walking. What feels good, what feels uncomfy, which positions allow space? This babe and I have a journey to traverse together and it begins now as we get ready to enter our third trimester.
I'm imagining what will be around me when the time comes for me to contract and by holding that image, I know that I will draw the experience to myself. It is an active, positive process to eke out the thorns, ideas, theories, mindsets (my own and those in society around me) that do not resonate with that image over the coming weeks so that no stone is left unturned that could stand in the way of me safely easing this babe into the world.
I welcome this process as I know it has worked the last three times I've done it. Each preparation journey was different and it flowed simply by holding that image of safety and letting it be the anchor point while I worked through and acknowledged any triggers, any doubts, worries, niggles, criticisms, angers etc. So that when that first clear contraction comes and I know that labour has begun, I am ready. Simply ready. Head up, head down, its all the same, a miraculous yet efficient manoeuvring of two bodies - listen to the mind and the emotions now, give them time to prepare so that when it comes to the physical bit they can stand aside and watch the exquisite dance.
Monday, 2 July 2012
Inside and beyond the storm
Outside of our labouring woman is a wild storm that she can at best blank out and go within. Her birth partner can hold her space for her - it is the strongest gift they can give. For the storm of cultural taboos, male female conundrum, obstetric reason intervening, midwifery in varying stages of remembering, a persistent unfamiliarity for the pain and mess of a delicious birthing creation, is not relevant for our labouring woman.
I have total trust that the environment amongst birthing professionals is working itself out to provide a truly safe space for labouring woman. But still, just now, lets acknowledge it with its perfections and imperfections and return to our labouring woman.
Deep inside, the dance is beginning. She can invite who she chooses to be present. The cushion of flesh and muscle rippling and tightening as she moves instinctively, subtly, outwardly, inwardly, feeling, sinking into the glorious now of her unique rhythm.
A bubble of love and comfort surrounds her, allowing her to surrender her whole to this awesome act. Well done Beautiful, you're doing it, the dance is blossoming and unfurling within you, you are perfectly ready for these moments.
Power surges are grounded as she moans and rocks. Deep roots into mother earth who hears and holds every woman and man through the ages. Well done Fine Creature, you are Life itself, in your safety is creation, is a baby's first moment, is smooth unhindered transition and release. Well done,we are with you, we trust your body, we are watchful and heartened with every breath of progress. Even in the seemingly dormant moments is a natural and perfect unfolding.
I have total trust that the environment amongst birthing professionals is working itself out to provide a truly safe space for labouring woman. But still, just now, lets acknowledge it with its perfections and imperfections and return to our labouring woman.
Deep inside, the dance is beginning. She can invite who she chooses to be present. The cushion of flesh and muscle rippling and tightening as she moves instinctively, subtly, outwardly, inwardly, feeling, sinking into the glorious now of her unique rhythm.
A bubble of love and comfort surrounds her, allowing her to surrender her whole to this awesome act. Well done Beautiful, you're doing it, the dance is blossoming and unfurling within you, you are perfectly ready for these moments.
Power surges are grounded as she moans and rocks. Deep roots into mother earth who hears and holds every woman and man through the ages. Well done Fine Creature, you are Life itself, in your safety is creation, is a baby's first moment, is smooth unhindered transition and release. Well done,we are with you, we trust your body, we are watchful and heartened with every breath of progress. Even in the seemingly dormant moments is a natural and perfect unfolding.
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Birth Dance
I believe birth offers each of us the challenge of reaching deep inside to find our deep trust. It is a pinnacle where we find ourself at our most vulnerable and our most powerful - where our caregivers can either take our power to create a nightmare chain of events or harness it towards a magical climax.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour.
Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told 'No' - my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor.
It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habit of accepting the doctor's word, of staying quiet so as not to buck the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby's divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour.
Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told 'No' - my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor.
It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habit of accepting the doctor's word, of staying quiet so as not to buck the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby's divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
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