So here's our birthing mother, savvy about the possible interventions that may be offered to her, birth plan in hand, inner strength activated, aware that she is likely to be attended by someone she's not met before, moving into the birth zone of surrender and release. Wow what a combination!
I wonder if here is where one of the cruxes of safe birth lies? Being able to steer a course between the two extremes, being able to say No assertively at the same time as accepting the flood of labour as she opens up with a joyful Yes!
As I write I'm aware I'm directly recalling the words of my doula at last week's birth group, thank you Rachel!
Each of my pregnancies and births have offered me a gift, an area for development and growth and whilst this balance of Yes and No is true for anyone birthing in our culture, it feels very close to my heart in particular at this time.
To be resilient is not to be closed to those around me, but to be clear and centred in myself and aware of the skills I have to bounce and to cope with whatever a situation arises.
To surrender is not to pass over control to someone else blindly though it is an opportunity to lay back into the hands of God/Source/All That Is and trust.
To be 'in control' can necessarily accomodate surrendering, as it is my choice to do so.
I am re-reading a book called Birthing from Within which encourages the uncovering of layers of questions, focuses, anxieties to prepare oneself for birth. Using creativity to help unpack anything which may stand in the way of a flowing birth experience. I found a peaceful spot around dawn this morning to journal (which I totally recommend!) and played for some time with some oil pastels, and felt some real breakthroughs with addressing this balance within myself.
The image my subconscious drew helped me see that when I birth I am accessing a power greater than the hills. When focusing on the part of my body that physically needs to coast the balance between surrender and resilience, my Pelvic Floor, I drew rainbows of healing to any pain and worry held there. Rainbows for me represent the whole spectrum of experience. The act of colouring in this image really shifted some blocks and I will be revisiting it.
I didn't expect this blog to have further personal journeys within it as I thought my birthing days ended with my 3rd! I'm going with the flow as to where this takes the blog -- lets see if she chooses breech or cephallic!
I've found it so helpful to learn what other pregnant people are experiencing as we are each on such a personal path approaching birth. I feel there is always more to develop and open up, and again really encourage any reader to delve deep down into how you are (the book I mentioned above is a great support, like a manual, for doing this) and what this experience is bringing up for you.
Its a real joy to be fully present with the pregnancy, my body, its reactions, emotions, sensations. From this place of self-knowledge I can look upon the valley of surrender with the resilient strength of the mountain and it not feel like a contradiction!! You go girl!!
Showing posts with label birth challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth challenge. Show all posts
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Monday, 26 March 2012
I don't want to be different!
So many times in my (known) breech pregnancy, I really wanted to be perceived as normal and it helped me enormously when I attended a workshop by Mary Cronk who very much refers to Normal Breech Birth. I had a strong conviction when pregnant that I fitted in that category (even though it was years later that I found that phrase).
Again though, no matter how much wisened, informed practitioners may know it is simply a variation on normal, there is still a lot of fear and shadow surrounding the breech experience and little effort is made to shelter the pregnant woman from this fear.
And so it toughened me up I think, to realise that I was the one to make the decisions about the birth. That I was being asked to step out of my comfort zone either way. I could choose a elective caesarian section that felt unnecessary and traumatic to me, or I could choose to stand away from the advice of primary caregivers and find my own path. If I was looking for a doctor to say it'll all be fine trust your body, I was sorely mistaken. The situation is changing amongst healthcare professionals, but ultimately I think that taking responsibility for our own health choices is empowering and the way forward. I did not reject their knowledge and skill, I simply kept reading further to make sure I attended to my own needs first and foremost.
I sought the support of women who did know that it was safe to trust my body, and through them found access to birth stories of safe breech birth, advice, information that gently fed the seed of confidence right up to the day. Checking in with how I felt along the way, there were days where I was very afraid having to take such a bold step, but I feel this was all part of me growing and becoming a mother. I continued to get very positive feedback in the form of appropriate care and advice coming my way, and this helped me to feel validated on my path to birthing my daughter in the safest way I knew how.
Again though, no matter how much wisened, informed practitioners may know it is simply a variation on normal, there is still a lot of fear and shadow surrounding the breech experience and little effort is made to shelter the pregnant woman from this fear.
And so it toughened me up I think, to realise that I was the one to make the decisions about the birth. That I was being asked to step out of my comfort zone either way. I could choose a elective caesarian section that felt unnecessary and traumatic to me, or I could choose to stand away from the advice of primary caregivers and find my own path. If I was looking for a doctor to say it'll all be fine trust your body, I was sorely mistaken. The situation is changing amongst healthcare professionals, but ultimately I think that taking responsibility for our own health choices is empowering and the way forward. I did not reject their knowledge and skill, I simply kept reading further to make sure I attended to my own needs first and foremost.
I sought the support of women who did know that it was safe to trust my body, and through them found access to birth stories of safe breech birth, advice, information that gently fed the seed of confidence right up to the day. Checking in with how I felt along the way, there were days where I was very afraid having to take such a bold step, but I feel this was all part of me growing and becoming a mother. I continued to get very positive feedback in the form of appropriate care and advice coming my way, and this helped me to feel validated on my path to birthing my daughter in the safest way I knew how.
Monday, 19 March 2012
Come on baby - do us a favour and turn round!!
So why do some babies choose this way?
I found myself whispering to my gorgeous breechies in the womb, please love, its a lot more understood the head down approach. It means we can use the water and have chilled out midwives. Please love just do a flip now.
But they knew the way they wanted to come and I visualised most crucially that we would have appropriate care givers with us, skilled midwives in both cases though neither touched my baby as it was being born - Hands Off the Breech! In both cases my main care giver was my doula as she held me emotionally and wholly in her positive regard, confidence and perfectly chosen words at key points.
My niece also presented breech so perhaps my sister and I had that-shaped uteri. This same niece alongside my two breechies have a particular shaped head, wider forehead and big, like mine. The two cousins who presented head down had much smaller heads.
A year ago I was blessed with the experience of listening to Mary Cronk, a very skilled midwife who has specialised in normal breech births throughout her long career (there have been very few midwives who have been able to sustain this skill since the blanket move towards cesarean - Mary was one who has bridged the generation or two that lost the knowledge - those of us heralding the reskilling process are warmed by the greater number of women able to experience safe normal breech births). She shared that sometimes a breech presentation is indicating that something is wrong with baby. However, you can tell that all is well, that the baby is uncompromised, if labour continues progressing. If baby descends and progress is made each contraction then all is likely to be well.
There is loads more information about the nitty gritty here www.breechbirth.org.uk
So everyone who wants to should get to give this a go in my view. There's nothing like the feeling of bicycling legs half way out of you! Quite cute. Or in my son's case simply cradling his bum while the rest waited to born.
Who knows why?!
Its just the way some of them choose to come :)
I found myself whispering to my gorgeous breechies in the womb, please love, its a lot more understood the head down approach. It means we can use the water and have chilled out midwives. Please love just do a flip now.
But they knew the way they wanted to come and I visualised most crucially that we would have appropriate care givers with us, skilled midwives in both cases though neither touched my baby as it was being born - Hands Off the Breech! In both cases my main care giver was my doula as she held me emotionally and wholly in her positive regard, confidence and perfectly chosen words at key points.
My niece also presented breech so perhaps my sister and I had that-shaped uteri. This same niece alongside my two breechies have a particular shaped head, wider forehead and big, like mine. The two cousins who presented head down had much smaller heads.
A year ago I was blessed with the experience of listening to Mary Cronk, a very skilled midwife who has specialised in normal breech births throughout her long career (there have been very few midwives who have been able to sustain this skill since the blanket move towards cesarean - Mary was one who has bridged the generation or two that lost the knowledge - those of us heralding the reskilling process are warmed by the greater number of women able to experience safe normal breech births). She shared that sometimes a breech presentation is indicating that something is wrong with baby. However, you can tell that all is well, that the baby is uncompromised, if labour continues progressing. If baby descends and progress is made each contraction then all is likely to be well.
There is loads more information about the nitty gritty here www.breechbirth.org.uk
So everyone who wants to should get to give this a go in my view. There's nothing like the feeling of bicycling legs half way out of you! Quite cute. Or in my son's case simply cradling his bum while the rest waited to born.
Who knows why?!
Its just the way some of them choose to come :)
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Birth Dance
I believe birth offers each of us the challenge of reaching deep inside to find our deep trust. It is a pinnacle where we find ourself at our most vulnerable and our most powerful - where our caregivers can either take our power to create a nightmare chain of events or harness it towards a magical climax.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour.
Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told 'No' - my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor.
It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habit of accepting the doctor's word, of staying quiet so as not to buck the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby's divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour.
Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told 'No' - my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor.
It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habit of accepting the doctor's word, of staying quiet so as not to buck the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby's divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
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