Outside of our labouring woman is a wild storm that she can at best blank out and go within. Her birth partner can hold her space for her - it is the strongest gift they can give. For the storm of cultural taboos, male female conundrum, obstetric reason intervening, midwifery in varying stages of remembering, a persistent unfamiliarity for the pain and mess of a delicious birthing creation, is not relevant for our labouring woman.
I have total trust that the environment amongst birthing professionals is working itself out to provide a truly safe space for labouring woman. But still, just now, lets acknowledge it with its perfections and imperfections and return to our labouring woman.
Deep inside, the dance is beginning. She can invite who she chooses to be present. The cushion of flesh and muscle rippling and tightening as she moves instinctively, subtly, outwardly, inwardly, feeling, sinking into the glorious now of her unique rhythm.
A bubble of love and comfort surrounds her, allowing her to surrender her whole to this awesome act. Well done Beautiful, you're doing it, the dance is blossoming and unfurling within you, you are perfectly ready for these moments.
Power surges are grounded as she moans and rocks. Deep roots into mother earth who hears and holds every woman and man through the ages. Well done Fine Creature, you are Life itself, in your safety is creation, is a baby's first moment, is smooth unhindered transition and release. Well done,we are with you, we trust your body, we are watchful and heartened with every breath of progress. Even in the seemingly dormant moments is a natural and perfect unfolding.
Monday 2 July 2012
Monday 26 March 2012
I don't want to be different!
So many times in my (known) breech pregnancy, I really wanted to be perceived as normal and it helped me enormously when I attended a workshop by Mary Cronk who very much refers to Normal Breech Birth. I had a strong conviction when pregnant that I fitted in that category (even though it was years later that I found that phrase).
Again though, no matter how much wisened, informed practitioners may know it is simply a variation on normal, there is still a lot of fear and shadow surrounding the breech experience and little effort is made to shelter the pregnant woman from this fear.
And so it toughened me up I think, to realise that I was the one to make the decisions about the birth. That I was being asked to step out of my comfort zone either way. I could choose a elective caesarian section that felt unnecessary and traumatic to me, or I could choose to stand away from the advice of primary caregivers and find my own path. If I was looking for a doctor to say it'll all be fine trust your body, I was sorely mistaken. The situation is changing amongst healthcare professionals, but ultimately I think that taking responsibility for our own health choices is empowering and the way forward. I did not reject their knowledge and skill, I simply kept reading further to make sure I attended to my own needs first and foremost.
I sought the support of women who did know that it was safe to trust my body, and through them found access to birth stories of safe breech birth, advice, information that gently fed the seed of confidence right up to the day. Checking in with how I felt along the way, there were days where I was very afraid having to take such a bold step, but I feel this was all part of me growing and becoming a mother. I continued to get very positive feedback in the form of appropriate care and advice coming my way, and this helped me to feel validated on my path to birthing my daughter in the safest way I knew how.
Again though, no matter how much wisened, informed practitioners may know it is simply a variation on normal, there is still a lot of fear and shadow surrounding the breech experience and little effort is made to shelter the pregnant woman from this fear.
And so it toughened me up I think, to realise that I was the one to make the decisions about the birth. That I was being asked to step out of my comfort zone either way. I could choose a elective caesarian section that felt unnecessary and traumatic to me, or I could choose to stand away from the advice of primary caregivers and find my own path. If I was looking for a doctor to say it'll all be fine trust your body, I was sorely mistaken. The situation is changing amongst healthcare professionals, but ultimately I think that taking responsibility for our own health choices is empowering and the way forward. I did not reject their knowledge and skill, I simply kept reading further to make sure I attended to my own needs first and foremost.
I sought the support of women who did know that it was safe to trust my body, and through them found access to birth stories of safe breech birth, advice, information that gently fed the seed of confidence right up to the day. Checking in with how I felt along the way, there were days where I was very afraid having to take such a bold step, but I feel this was all part of me growing and becoming a mother. I continued to get very positive feedback in the form of appropriate care and advice coming my way, and this helped me to feel validated on my path to birthing my daughter in the safest way I knew how.
Monday 19 March 2012
Come on baby - do us a favour and turn round!!
So why do some babies choose this way?
I found myself whispering to my gorgeous breechies in the womb, please love, its a lot more understood the head down approach. It means we can use the water and have chilled out midwives. Please love just do a flip now.
But they knew the way they wanted to come and I visualised most crucially that we would have appropriate care givers with us, skilled midwives in both cases though neither touched my baby as it was being born - Hands Off the Breech! In both cases my main care giver was my doula as she held me emotionally and wholly in her positive regard, confidence and perfectly chosen words at key points.
My niece also presented breech so perhaps my sister and I had that-shaped uteri. This same niece alongside my two breechies have a particular shaped head, wider forehead and big, like mine. The two cousins who presented head down had much smaller heads.
A year ago I was blessed with the experience of listening to Mary Cronk, a very skilled midwife who has specialised in normal breech births throughout her long career (there have been very few midwives who have been able to sustain this skill since the blanket move towards cesarean - Mary was one who has bridged the generation or two that lost the knowledge - those of us heralding the reskilling process are warmed by the greater number of women able to experience safe normal breech births). She shared that sometimes a breech presentation is indicating that something is wrong with baby. However, you can tell that all is well, that the baby is uncompromised, if labour continues progressing. If baby descends and progress is made each contraction then all is likely to be well.
There is loads more information about the nitty gritty here www.breechbirth.org.uk
So everyone who wants to should get to give this a go in my view. There's nothing like the feeling of bicycling legs half way out of you! Quite cute. Or in my son's case simply cradling his bum while the rest waited to born.
Who knows why?!
Its just the way some of them choose to come :)
I found myself whispering to my gorgeous breechies in the womb, please love, its a lot more understood the head down approach. It means we can use the water and have chilled out midwives. Please love just do a flip now.
But they knew the way they wanted to come and I visualised most crucially that we would have appropriate care givers with us, skilled midwives in both cases though neither touched my baby as it was being born - Hands Off the Breech! In both cases my main care giver was my doula as she held me emotionally and wholly in her positive regard, confidence and perfectly chosen words at key points.
My niece also presented breech so perhaps my sister and I had that-shaped uteri. This same niece alongside my two breechies have a particular shaped head, wider forehead and big, like mine. The two cousins who presented head down had much smaller heads.
A year ago I was blessed with the experience of listening to Mary Cronk, a very skilled midwife who has specialised in normal breech births throughout her long career (there have been very few midwives who have been able to sustain this skill since the blanket move towards cesarean - Mary was one who has bridged the generation or two that lost the knowledge - those of us heralding the reskilling process are warmed by the greater number of women able to experience safe normal breech births). She shared that sometimes a breech presentation is indicating that something is wrong with baby. However, you can tell that all is well, that the baby is uncompromised, if labour continues progressing. If baby descends and progress is made each contraction then all is likely to be well.
There is loads more information about the nitty gritty here www.breechbirth.org.uk
So everyone who wants to should get to give this a go in my view. There's nothing like the feeling of bicycling legs half way out of you! Quite cute. Or in my son's case simply cradling his bum while the rest waited to born.
Who knows why?!
Its just the way some of them choose to come :)
Pulsatilla - holding onto the mother's heart strings
I tried Pulsatilla 1M with my first breech - a homeopathic remedy recommended when a baby presents breech. Whilst it may be billed as a possible turning remedy, for me I feel confident that it aided me emotionally at that time. I am a very loving kinda girl, perhaps this analogy to my firstborn clutching at my heartstrings is true and suggests a clinginess, a reluctance to let go, let her grow, be born.
For whatever reason, physiologically, breech was right for baby and me in both situations. I understand that the physical is wholly related to emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, and any way that a mother can address these other areas will aide her in birthing well and safely. Perhaps breech in some cases is a sign that one can do more to let go, surrender, know that all is well. Perhaps this mental shift will allow a baby to turn if it is its path to do so :)
I'm really into homeopathy and its not a belief thing, it simply works.
I also tried standing up side down in the swim pool, frozen peas at the ribs, warm hot water bottle at the pelvis to coax her round. I tried moxibustion on the little toe acupressure point. I tried lying at 45 degrees twice daily on an upturned ironing board. Until I injured myself and let go of my perceived need to get her to turn.
Sure, try these things and listen to your body and the baby. I personally didn't want to try ECV (External Cephalic Version) and gently feel that that physical intervention may cause problems by stepping in the way, confusing, the dance between the two bodies at this sacred third tremester stage.
More info on ECV here at the Breechbirth website
For whatever reason, physiologically, breech was right for baby and me in both situations. I understand that the physical is wholly related to emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, and any way that a mother can address these other areas will aide her in birthing well and safely. Perhaps breech in some cases is a sign that one can do more to let go, surrender, know that all is well. Perhaps this mental shift will allow a baby to turn if it is its path to do so :)
I'm really into homeopathy and its not a belief thing, it simply works.
I also tried standing up side down in the swim pool, frozen peas at the ribs, warm hot water bottle at the pelvis to coax her round. I tried moxibustion on the little toe acupressure point. I tried lying at 45 degrees twice daily on an upturned ironing board. Until I injured myself and let go of my perceived need to get her to turn.
Sure, try these things and listen to your body and the baby. I personally didn't want to try ECV (External Cephalic Version) and gently feel that that physical intervention may cause problems by stepping in the way, confusing, the dance between the two bodies at this sacred third tremester stage.
More info on ECV here at the Breechbirth website
Tuesday 13 March 2012
Hanging or Dangling to get that baby out!
In some cultures there is a birthing tree for women to hang from as contractions come and go. Any position that takes the weight off the feet and pelvic floor, allowing the cervix to open freely... in a house, good places are door frames, tops of doors although you may want to experiment in pregnancy to find places of a suitable height for you.
Our shed has a cross beam which was where I was for the majority of the first stage of baby number 2 and for number 3 I asked a friend to put me some hooks in the ceiling in our lounge. Tied some strong fabric around these to make a beam and heh presto a perfect birthing tool.
I believe this helped me to get the babies down down into the pelvis as I was doing some really inspired leg movements (almost like breast stroke one leg at a time) opening the hips but also such high circular movements as one might associate with the manoevre used with shoulder dystocia, freeing the foetus from being caught on bones (not a technical term!)
Intuitively allowing my body to tell me what position i should be in, hanging allows all over body shaking, big stretches throughout to relieve tensions, and of course aides the pull of gravity by releasing any muscles that may stand in its way.
Lets get those hooks into maternity suites!! Just brilliant for pain relief - the best pain relief is to listen and act swiftly to what your body is telling you. This way, that way a bit, swaying, wiggling, swooning, rolling, hanging firm, and words I could not dream of to describe the skilled art in your muscle sequences, known only by you and probably for the most part unconscious.
Safe skills, safe birthing.
Our shed has a cross beam which was where I was for the majority of the first stage of baby number 2 and for number 3 I asked a friend to put me some hooks in the ceiling in our lounge. Tied some strong fabric around these to make a beam and heh presto a perfect birthing tool.
I believe this helped me to get the babies down down into the pelvis as I was doing some really inspired leg movements (almost like breast stroke one leg at a time) opening the hips but also such high circular movements as one might associate with the manoevre used with shoulder dystocia, freeing the foetus from being caught on bones (not a technical term!)
Intuitively allowing my body to tell me what position i should be in, hanging allows all over body shaking, big stretches throughout to relieve tensions, and of course aides the pull of gravity by releasing any muscles that may stand in its way.
Lets get those hooks into maternity suites!! Just brilliant for pain relief - the best pain relief is to listen and act swiftly to what your body is telling you. This way, that way a bit, swaying, wiggling, swooning, rolling, hanging firm, and words I could not dream of to describe the skilled art in your muscle sequences, known only by you and probably for the most part unconscious.
Safe skills, safe birthing.
A 'How To' for birth visualisation
If you are unfamiliar with locating this source of knowing, perhaps your breech is a good time to start accessing it. Here is one way you might like to try turning your attention inside.
Ideally make sure you'll not be interrupted by phones or visitors. Sit on a chair with your back straight and feet flat on the floor or lie down on your left side with carefully positioned cushions. It is helpful to stay awake during this process so choose the time of day for optimum attention!
Take some breaths imagining that with each inbreath you are renewing your body and mind with fresh bright air and with each outbreath you are letting go of any concerns and worries - perhaps watch them float away like clouds and trust that you need not think about them for the next few moments. This is time for you and your baby. Just breathing, giving life, giving time.
You could imagine roots growing down from the soles of your feet deep down into the earth, spreading our like the roots of a tree, connecting with the central core of the earth.
At that core is a golden ball of light, the light will then come up the roots in to your body and you can picture it filling your body, keeping you grounded and safe. Scan through now and feel that golden light touching your feet and toes, your lower leg, knee, upper leg, pelvis, lower back, belly, your womb and baby nestled there. Follow the light to your centre, somewhere around your heart or solar plexus and let it pool there.
You can imagine a silver ball above the head, glistening with the light of inspiration. This is the place of your life path, individual to you, always available to connect with. Pull a strand of the silver light down, through the top of your head and let it light up each part of the body that it reaches - your scalp, the back of the head, forehead, smoothing any lines as the muscles relax, your face, eyes, jaw, neck, throat, let your shoulder blades lower and relax receiving the golden light and it flows along your upper arms, elbows, lower arms, wrists, hands and fingers.
And then feel the silver light mingle with the golden light in your centre. A perfect balance of the nurturing earth and heavenly inspiration. Experience that balance for a moment.
From this central place you can take your attention back to your baby and check in with her or him - is there anything that comes to mind about how they are? Let your mind be soft and see if anything comes. Share any thoughts or feelings that you'd like to with your baby.
This is a good time to notice any fears that you have. Make a note of it for your attention later. Recognise that any places of ill ease as you sit in this quiet space are valuable signposts for areas that need your focus. Perhaps something that you thought you were worried about was a screen for a deeper concern underneath. By exploring a little now in this safe space, you are doing valuable clearing work along the path to a safe and uninhibited birth.
Sometimes the worry may disappear quickly and pop as you recognise it, sometimes you may need to let them go knowing that you can come back to them another time.
If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to your centre and the gold and silver lights mingling. Perhaps it helps to concentrate on each inbreath followed by an outbreath. This is a valuable way to centre yourself and stay in the safe moment of connecting with your instinctive truth. Thoughts may come and go, acknowledge them and let them go for now. Let go of anything you don't need right here, right now. There's all the time in the world to pick up on those thoughts later!
Gently scanning through, aware of each part of your body, noticing things and moving on. Perhaps there are no sensations and that is absolutely fine too, its just how you are in this moment.
Bringing your attention back by noticing sounds outside the room and inside the room. Wiggling your fingers and toes feeling the chair you are sitting on. Write or draw anything you would like to as you come back to the here and now. If you find it difficult to come back, stamp your feet and get on with some everyday things. A glass of water is also a great way to come back.
Ideally make sure you'll not be interrupted by phones or visitors. Sit on a chair with your back straight and feet flat on the floor or lie down on your left side with carefully positioned cushions. It is helpful to stay awake during this process so choose the time of day for optimum attention!
Take some breaths imagining that with each inbreath you are renewing your body and mind with fresh bright air and with each outbreath you are letting go of any concerns and worries - perhaps watch them float away like clouds and trust that you need not think about them for the next few moments. This is time for you and your baby. Just breathing, giving life, giving time.
You could imagine roots growing down from the soles of your feet deep down into the earth, spreading our like the roots of a tree, connecting with the central core of the earth.
At that core is a golden ball of light, the light will then come up the roots in to your body and you can picture it filling your body, keeping you grounded and safe. Scan through now and feel that golden light touching your feet and toes, your lower leg, knee, upper leg, pelvis, lower back, belly, your womb and baby nestled there. Follow the light to your centre, somewhere around your heart or solar plexus and let it pool there.
You can imagine a silver ball above the head, glistening with the light of inspiration. This is the place of your life path, individual to you, always available to connect with. Pull a strand of the silver light down, through the top of your head and let it light up each part of the body that it reaches - your scalp, the back of the head, forehead, smoothing any lines as the muscles relax, your face, eyes, jaw, neck, throat, let your shoulder blades lower and relax receiving the golden light and it flows along your upper arms, elbows, lower arms, wrists, hands and fingers.
And then feel the silver light mingle with the golden light in your centre. A perfect balance of the nurturing earth and heavenly inspiration. Experience that balance for a moment.
From this central place you can take your attention back to your baby and check in with her or him - is there anything that comes to mind about how they are? Let your mind be soft and see if anything comes. Share any thoughts or feelings that you'd like to with your baby.
This is a good time to notice any fears that you have. Make a note of it for your attention later. Recognise that any places of ill ease as you sit in this quiet space are valuable signposts for areas that need your focus. Perhaps something that you thought you were worried about was a screen for a deeper concern underneath. By exploring a little now in this safe space, you are doing valuable clearing work along the path to a safe and uninhibited birth.
Sometimes the worry may disappear quickly and pop as you recognise it, sometimes you may need to let them go knowing that you can come back to them another time.
If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to your centre and the gold and silver lights mingling. Perhaps it helps to concentrate on each inbreath followed by an outbreath. This is a valuable way to centre yourself and stay in the safe moment of connecting with your instinctive truth. Thoughts may come and go, acknowledge them and let them go for now. Let go of anything you don't need right here, right now. There's all the time in the world to pick up on those thoughts later!
Gently scanning through, aware of each part of your body, noticing things and moving on. Perhaps there are no sensations and that is absolutely fine too, its just how you are in this moment.
Bringing your attention back by noticing sounds outside the room and inside the room. Wiggling your fingers and toes feeling the chair you are sitting on. Write or draw anything you would like to as you come back to the here and now. If you find it difficult to come back, stamp your feet and get on with some everyday things. A glass of water is also a great way to come back.
Weighing up 'Risk'
A mother makes safe choices. An evolutionary necessity.
You are not going to be doing anything that puts you or your baby at 'risk', the human race wouldn't have got very far if women were inclined to make crazy decisions at the last minute that endangered herself or her young.
If you feel that a c-section is the safest thing for you then you are right. If you envisage labouring for the large part at home and choosing the hospital for the birth then that is the right choice for you. Similarly, women who feel that the safety of a room they have pre-prepared with their family around them is where they will birth most comfortably then this is right for you.
I have avoided the word 'think' in that sentence as I believe that the answers to a lot of questions asked in preparation for labour come from an intuitive silent place. A gut feeling, a knowing, that can not always be backed up by statistics (although if someone statistically minded put their mind to it I'm sure the proof would be there!) but has the benefit of being a holistic decision. The decision that you know is right with all of yourself.
You are not going to be doing anything that puts you or your baby at 'risk', the human race wouldn't have got very far if women were inclined to make crazy decisions at the last minute that endangered herself or her young.
If you feel that a c-section is the safest thing for you then you are right. If you envisage labouring for the large part at home and choosing the hospital for the birth then that is the right choice for you. Similarly, women who feel that the safety of a room they have pre-prepared with their family around them is where they will birth most comfortably then this is right for you.
I have avoided the word 'think' in that sentence as I believe that the answers to a lot of questions asked in preparation for labour come from an intuitive silent place. A gut feeling, a knowing, that can not always be backed up by statistics (although if someone statistically minded put their mind to it I'm sure the proof would be there!) but has the benefit of being a holistic decision. The decision that you know is right with all of yourself.
A 'Get that Baby Out!' approach to Pain Relief
I was blessed by having done an enormous amount of preparation work for my labours and births and pharmacological pain relief just didn't feel like an appropriate way to deal with the sensations for me. My overall feeling after three full term labours and one 3 month miscarriage is that the pain is there to get that baby out!
The best pain relief is to listen to the sensation and move accordingly. Jump up and down, rest on one side or another, wiggle, groove, lean, rest, circle, strectch, crawl, march, act on what you can feel. Take the attention away from the extraordinary power of uterine contraction if you can by using the body to respond to it.
I loved acupressure on the lower back and sacrum, using the voice almost as a vibrating tool to connect with the contraction, sing into it, deep and low. My god the memories are full on! I'm not pretending that its all plain sailing but I do know that we are Amazing! ! ! You can cope with it you know?! I have total faith in the incredible nature of our bodies and the symbiotic way that we can move with our babies to Let Go and to birth them into the world.
I have early memories of moving away from painkillers and what a breakthrough it was for me in dealing with illness. My family and I had a flu over Christmas ten years ago, we were all in various stages but all pretty bed bound. Instead of taking the familiar lemsips and beechams powders, I decided I had nothing to do but to get better and buried my pounding head in the pillow and gave in to the overwhelming surges of sensations in my body. I hallucinated a lot and slept a lot. I remember seeing images of seven pieces of thick leather type material and knew that my task was to sew them all together. I think the most intense and richest part of this flu experience was a day or two long, although, like labour, the hours and minutes of the outside world are very distant from the rhythm of the body and eventually I woke with an insatiable appetite, nearly fainting as I fixed myself some porridge and joyfully woke up to the world.
And so, after birth is the relief as those contractions finally give way to peace and rest. Get that baby out whichever way its going to come!
The best pain relief is to listen to the sensation and move accordingly. Jump up and down, rest on one side or another, wiggle, groove, lean, rest, circle, strectch, crawl, march, act on what you can feel. Take the attention away from the extraordinary power of uterine contraction if you can by using the body to respond to it.
I loved acupressure on the lower back and sacrum, using the voice almost as a vibrating tool to connect with the contraction, sing into it, deep and low. My god the memories are full on! I'm not pretending that its all plain sailing but I do know that we are Amazing! ! ! You can cope with it you know?! I have total faith in the incredible nature of our bodies and the symbiotic way that we can move with our babies to Let Go and to birth them into the world.
I have early memories of moving away from painkillers and what a breakthrough it was for me in dealing with illness. My family and I had a flu over Christmas ten years ago, we were all in various stages but all pretty bed bound. Instead of taking the familiar lemsips and beechams powders, I decided I had nothing to do but to get better and buried my pounding head in the pillow and gave in to the overwhelming surges of sensations in my body. I hallucinated a lot and slept a lot. I remember seeing images of seven pieces of thick leather type material and knew that my task was to sew them all together. I think the most intense and richest part of this flu experience was a day or two long, although, like labour, the hours and minutes of the outside world are very distant from the rhythm of the body and eventually I woke with an insatiable appetite, nearly fainting as I fixed myself some porridge and joyfully woke up to the world.
And so, after birth is the relief as those contractions finally give way to peace and rest. Get that baby out whichever way its going to come!
Birth Dance
I believe birth offers each of us the challenge of reaching deep inside to find our deep trust. It is a pinnacle where we find ourself at our most vulnerable and our most powerful - where our caregivers can either take our power to create a nightmare chain of events or harness it towards a magical climax.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour.
Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told 'No' - my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor.
It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habit of accepting the doctor's word, of staying quiet so as not to buck the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby's divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
At present in the UK it seems completely down to the woman to claim responsibility for making it the dream and not the nightmare and for the individual I feel this is too heavy a load to bear. It is unique that a woman finds the strength to tip the scales in her favour.
Goodness knows how I found the strength: perhaps a rebelliousness that meant I found strength when told 'No' - my whole being screamed out YES !! A fire lit within me as the certainty of safe birth filled each receptor.
It takes a lot of strength, will and trust to keep moving onwards to the light when there is so much fear, mistrust and compliancy around you. The use of language to disempower our fantastic physiology. The habit of accepting the doctor's word, of staying quiet so as not to buck the system. These forces are massive, yet they are nothing. Courage and instinct stand tall and simple.
Love the woman, trust the woman, be the birth, see the dance of the two bodies negotiating perfectly their journey to life and new beginnings. Know that She is well, affirm that She is whole, perfect as She is and that her capabilities as a woman, as a spirit, as a creature of light are infinite, and that the baby's divine instinct is to move joyfully with confidence into life and breath on earth.
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